literally had 100 drinks last night.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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