What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
