I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
