Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
