also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
