yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
