So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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