I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
