He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
