I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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