found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He shit in the fireplace
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
