Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
