I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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