wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
