Non-Jews are for practice
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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