He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
