i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm always down for nudity.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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