So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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