i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize