I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
