There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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