Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
