Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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