dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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