Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
