OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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