apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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