Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
