I hate your face
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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