Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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