just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
