We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
