This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize