it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
