I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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