They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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