4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
