you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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