when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize