No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
