what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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