I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize