My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
