But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
