I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize