He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Banned from zoo.
Again?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
