I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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