i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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