so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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