I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
