Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
