Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
