I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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