You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
