I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
