I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
