Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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