God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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