You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize