dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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