oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
