Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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