Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
