If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize