I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do vagina's smell?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
