How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
