operation have a gay friend backfired
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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