also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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