I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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