Jerry, you need to find god
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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